Comparison.

The thief of joy.

I went out with a friend today, she wanted to go cafe hopping and I joined her, she offered to take me near the ocean and that will always make me say yes. Yesterday night I went to play football after a long time, I’ve got myself new shoes because my old ones weren’t supporting me anymore, I used them till their maximum extent and then decided to buy a new pair.

I’ve got back problems and I’m chronically injured, I fight it everyday but at the same time I do complain a little, of course most of it is the consequence of my negligence but human nature is to be paradoxical, I try to stray far away from such thoughts but they do make their way in my head sometimes. It sometimes even hurts to walk, I can’t sit for long hours, at random times there are sharp cramps that feels like someone just stabbed me and twisted the knife, and sometimes all I can do is stay on the bed and wonder when this’ll come to an end.

This is just one injury, I could talk about at least 10 more, fractures, surgeries, it’s never ending and there’s no point getting into it. But I think I’m glad this happened to me, my pain tolerance has increased and I’m a much more resilient person now, in layman terms, I’ve got balls of steel now, injuries don’t scare me anymore. Football was something I was going to pursue a career in, deep down I knew I had the caliber to make it, I just knew I could work hard enough to get there, I was already at the part of 5 am training sessions and then one more in the evening, it was strenuous but it fulfilled my soul, it filled that void in me that constantly craves for more, it made me feel content.

Today as I was walking across the station, I saw a man walking on crutches. He did not have a leg, yet he was making his way through the crowd and going on about his day. And here I am complaining about these things, I have been blessed to have new boots, the fitness to still play and walk, and yet I somehow find a way to complain? It’s kind of sad to be fair. The world is ruthless, it doesn’t wait for you, time moves on and everything along with it too. I’m learning to be more grateful everyday, it’s a virtue only the greats possess, the more gratitude you show, the more the universe rewards you. But don’t do it for the rewards, do it so you can sleep well at night.

With love and gratitude,
Harshit.

dominated amongst players 3-4 years older than me